Diary of a Pool Cleaner

Because I Take Pride In My Fucking Job

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Pool Cleaner, Not Status Symbol

Right, I've been fucking busy, man. After enduring all the fucking begging, I finally broke down and fucking agreed to clean the fucking pools of some of Jon's friends. But only those who were using those fucking digusting automated pool cleaners. I may be the fucking best, man, but I'm not going to take another pool cleaner's fucking job out from under him.

It soon became rather fucking clear that most of these guys had no fucking interest in a clean pool, man. They just wanted to be able to say their pool was fucking cleaned by fucking Jon Bon Jovi's pool cleaner. It fucking should have been obvious, I suppose, since they used those fucking automated "cleaners". But I take pride in my fucking work, even if they don't. So I made sure those pools fucking sparkled before I left. Maybe, I dunno, maybe one of them will have a fucking conversion when they see it.

But I don't think I'll fucking be going back, man. What Jon and me have here is some sort of fucking symbiosis of pride. We fucking feed off each other's energy. I hear him write a fucking brilliant song and it makes me clean that fucking pool even harder. Just like after he swims like a fucking fish for a few hours, he says the fucking sparkle puts him right fucking there to go write another great song.


At 3:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Of course you aren't going to fucking take another pool cleaner's job. That would be in violation of the fucking Pool Cleaners Union bylaws. Have you even paid your fucking dues since arriving in America yet?

Another Pool Cleaner

At 3:36 PM, Blogger The Pool Cleaner said...

Of course I have! I'm no fucking scab! But you know these fucking Hollywood types. Always fucking going on about the fucking working man, but then employing fucking non-union illegals. Not Jon, though. He fucking cares that the working man has a fair fucking shake. Just like in his brilliant union man song, "Livin' On A Prayer"

The Brotherhood of Pool Cleaners is fucking stronger than any union, though. I know they may be taking a fucking union man's job, but I still can't fucking bring myself to supplant them.

Though I'll fucking report their employers to the fucking union.


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