Diary of a Pool Cleaner

Because I Take Pride In My Fucking Job

Friday, February 18, 2005

No Fear

It's fucking Friday night, so that means there's going to be a fucking party. This is Jon Bon fucking Jovi, after all. So all day, right, Jon's been fucking pacing around the fucking pool fucking muttering to himself. Finally, I say, "Jon, what's the fucking deal, man?" He says, "I'm fucking worried about this pool. It's so fucking sparkling, and I just know those fuckers are going to fuck it up. They'll throw their fucking beer cans in there, their fucking napkins and unfinished hotdog buns. Last time someone threw fucking diapers in there, man. Fucking dirty diapers. I just can't fucking stand knowing what's going to happen to the awesome sparkle."

So I tell him, "Jon, Jon, fucking relax, man. That's the whole fucking reason you brought me in. I was born to fucking clean pools, Jon. I can't fucking clean them if they never get fucking dirty. It's part of the whole fucking deal of being a pool cleaner."

He looked at me and said, "That is fucking awesome, man. As a man who takes fucking pride in his work, I fucking knew this right. You're, like, right fucking there, man." And I said, "I know!" Then he warned me to stay away from Cher tonight because she's been "acting all fucking weird" lately.

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